Get your hair cut by Josh Freese...
25th Feb 2009 | 16:12
or perhaps a foot massage?
$50 - CD/DVD double disc set and t-shirt. Thank You phone call from Josh for buying Since 1972. You can tell him what you like about the record that you purchased, or what you thought sucked. Ask whatever you want, like "Is Maynard really THAT weird?" or "Which one of Sting's mansions has the comfiest beds?" or "Why don't the Vandals play more stuff off the first record?"
$250 (limited edition of 25) - Signed CD/DVD and digital download, t-shirt, signed drum head and drumsticks. Go on a lunch date with Josh to PF Changs or The Cheesecake Factory (whatever you're into.)
$1,000 (limited edition of 10) - Signed CD/DVD and digital download, t-shirt, signed cymbal, drum head and drumsticks. Josh washes your car OR does your laundry... or you can wash his car. Have dinner with Josh aboard the 'Queen Mary' in Long Beach, CA. Get drunk and cut each others' hair in the parking lot of the Long Beach courthouse (filmed and posted on YouTube of course).
$2,500 (limited edition of 5) - Signed CD/DVD and digital download. Get a private drum lesson with Josh or for all you non-drummers have him give you a back and foot massage (couples welcome). Pick any one member of the Vandals or Devo (subject to availability) to accompany you and Josh to either the Hollywood Wax Museum or the lunch buffet at the Spearmint Rhino. Signed DW snare drum. Take three items of your choice out of his closet (first come, first serve). Change diapers and make bottles with him for an afternoon (after hitting the strip club).
$10,000 (limited edition of 1) - Signed CD/DVD and digital download and t-shirt. A signed drum from the 2008 Nine Inch Nails tour. Maynard James Keenan, Mark from Devo and Josh take you miniature golfing and then drop you off on the side of the freeway (all filmed and posted on youtube). Josh gives you a tour of Long Beach. See his first apartment, the coffee shop on 2nd St where his buddy paid Dave Grohl $40 to rip up tile just weeks before joining Nirvana. See the old Vandals rehearsal spot, the liquor store he got busted using a Fake I.D. at when he was 17. Go check out Snoop Dogg's High School. For an extra 50 bucks see where Tom and Adrian from No Doubt live. For another $25 he'll show ya where Eric from NOFX and Brooks from Bad Religion get their hair cut. Spend the night aboard the Queen Mary and take the Ghosts And Legends tour. (separate rooms... no spooning). Josh writes two songs about you and it's made available on iTunes and appears on his next record (you can sing back up on em, clap, play the drums, triangle, whatever...). Drum lesson OR foot and back massage. Pick any 3 items out of Josh's closet.
$75,000 (limited edition of 1) - Signed CD/DVD and digital download, t-shirt. Go on tour with Josh for a few days. Have Josh write, record and release a five song EP about you and your life story. Take home any of his drumsets (only one but you can choose which one). Take shrooms and cruise Hollywood in Danny from TOOL's Lamborgini OR play quarters and then hop on the Ouija board for a while. Josh will join your band for a month... play shows, record, party with groupies, etc... If you don't have a band he'll be your personal assistant for a month (4 day work weeks, 10 am to 4 pm). Take a limo down to Tijuana and he'll show you how it's done (what that means exactly we can't legally get into here). If you don't live in Southern California (but are a US resident) he'll come to you and be your personal assistant/cabana boy for two weeks. Take a flying trapeze lesson with Josh and Robin from NIN, go back to Robin's place afterwards and his wife will make you raw lasagna.
If you can't afford any of the above then you can always download the album for a mere $7.
There has been much speculation about whether or not these offers are serious. Says Josh: "There's been a lot of talk on the ol' internet about what I'm doing and 'if it's real' or if I'm 'joking'. It is very much real and I am surely not joking. Buy one and see for yourself".